GLSEN Awards

Its been a busy first 6 months in 2009. So its time to play quick catch up here. Been to quite a few events one of the best was the GLSEN Annual Gala dinner held at the Gotham Center. Wells Fargo is a proud suppporter of this national agency and has been supporting it for the last few years. In attendance were a number of prominent members of the Wells/Wachovia family and all said presente to support the agency. Jill Biden, the Vice President's wife made the opening remarks and she highlighted the need for additional education and support necessary for the youth in the GBLT community. Edie Falco was the guest star. She was stunning as always and looked like the character she is now known for, Nurse Jackie. Edie too made comments in support for the community and received an resounding round of applause. It was an event that I certainly enjoyed attending and look forward to supporting in the future. For additional information, look up http://www.glsen.org/

And so ends 2008.

Today is December 31, 2008. On this last day, I wanted to share with you some of the highs and not-so-highs of the year. I guess the logical place to start would be at home.

The economy tanked. In NYC, where business is driven by financial services and tourism, the city tanked. Bears Stearns and Lehman Brothers went under. Merrill Lynch was sold and most of the 35,000 employees will be impacted somehow. Wachovia was forced to sell itself, first to Citibank and thankfully by the grace of God, we were snatched from its clutches by Wells Fargo. Linens & Things, Kay-B Toys and countless others closed or lost their jobs. In addition to what ails Wall Street and 5Th Avenue, you have Madison Ave hurting as well. Friends tell me many layoffs and restructurings are happening in the advertising business. And one of the stalwarts recession-proof industries is being slammed as well--health care. So the pain has been lingering and growing and shared all around.

It did not help that we had a leadership vacuum in this country with a non-president who spent a third of this tenure either traveling or on vacation. It did not help that greed by Wall Street (fat bonuses for approving deals that should not have been approved to begin with) and OPEC ($150 a barrel was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back) got so greedy that now they are learning what is meant when we say payback is a BITCH! One good thing that came out of this is that I am no longer into driving as much. the spike in gas prices forever changed my commuting habits! Mass transit baby!--All the way!!

Schemers like Maydoff not only stole $50 billion from the rich, banks and corporations but also caused major not-for-profit foundations and agencies to collapse because their investments were totally wiped out. Greedy oil companies like PETRO that locked in customers with contracts in the end of the summer have lost many long term customers (like me) because they would not take a short term hit in terms of the contract for long term gains and customer loyalty (more on that in the next blog). Real estate properties have lost so much value that some people owe a mortgage that is more than the value of the home. Not so regretfully, it is a buyer's market.

If you had an IRA or 401k/403b account, you have probably suffered a 15-35% drop in the account. My advice is unless you are retiring in the next five years, stay the course. Some people did not follow my advice and suffered major losses. Same applied to the stock market. You had to have a strong stomach for these types of gyrations and cannot panic when things do not go your way. So much for economics...

Personally it was mixed bag... I still have some wonderful friendships that continue t make it year after year (cousin Raul, bff Roger, the great Marylee, my boy Leo, always Cheryl, Armando, through thick and thin Deborah, Reese, Vic, Tsui-man, TK & Todd), made new ones that I value and cherish (William, Annette, Frankie, Lillian and most especially Rodney and Mateo) and reconnected with old (Meredith, Red, Demetric, Lisa, Michael, Kohl-man and Tino). These are people that I try to regularly connect with and in some manner or another have an impact in my life. I am grateful for them being a part of my day and value them greatly. We may not all speak everyday but they are in my heart and thoughts constantly. On the flip side there are some that were lost and some just not worth it pursuing. While I will not mention them, IF they choose to read this, they know who they are (think CUT OFF... LOL) Life is about enjoying it and in 2009 I commit to starting fresh and not let garbage from the past taint my future.

We had some bad things happen. William was a victim of a home invasion and his roommate was assaulted (he posted a blog on it if you wish to read it: ). It was the first time i personally knew someone affected by this form of crime and it was disheartening to see the effect on someone as nice as William. We had losses in our family and the world lost great talents like Heath Ledger, Issac Hayes and Harvey Korman. Meredith lost her job when the foundation that hired her lost ALL its assets in the Madoff ponzi scam. She is smart and beautiful and motivated so I know she will land on her feet. Roger has weathered some serious challenges at home and at work and it seems like he is finally getting beyond it. Many of my friends have lost their jobs and are now desperately seeking employment elsewhere. I wanted to go whitewater rafting in PA, biking in Bear Mountain and down Riverside Drive and on the Haunted Halloween Hayride... none of them happened. Financially many are troubled. I would describe mine as stable. In love, it was not a good year. Stepped up to the plate twice and both times it did not work out... it is said the third time is a charm. Lets hope.

Some good things did happen. Citibank did not buy us, Wells Fargo did so that's OK for now. I still have my home and my place in PR, so that's good. Made new friends and I reacquainted with old. Still got my car and I have a chance at finally buying a place in 2009 so that would be great. Health-wise, 2008 did great--lost 15 lbs and and hoping 2009 will be my banner year aiming for another 10 lbs. Visited a lot of nice eateries in NY and I am committing to writing more about them in 2009. I went to Puerto Rico for most of my travels in 2008. I had the pleasure of having friends visit me and it was great to share some of the pleasures of Casa Rivera with them. I was lucky to have friends like Roger and Leo by my side (as I was there by them too) Leo got married to Michelle in October and it was a beautiful wedding by the seashore in Puerto Rico. Roger finally got that long and well deserved promotion--kudos to him. I intend to travel sometime in February to Puerto Rico and maybe I will get swept way too. hehehe. I think given the state of the economy I will hold off any major changes until things stabilize in 2010.

The Freedom Tower was begun and apartments in NYC are finally beginning to come down. I love it. Accountability is key everywhere and I think we will be seeing more and more of it. I became an instructor in Financial Literacy and I have enjoyed teaching the classes. In 2009, I hope to reach out to more. Vanessa had a bouncing baby girl and the last I heard was that both mother and daughter were doing fine. Mateo has fixed his place up nicely and is in the last stages of the renovation of his place. It is beautiful (pics will follow when completed). The last item to be done in Casa Rivera will be handled also in 2009 and I will be finally done.

And so ends 2008--good riddance to a horrible year that caused so much pain and angst to so many people. Good bye to the year that caused many to loose their homes, whole families become homeless, increased unemployment, hunger and poverty in our nation and around the world. So long to a year that brought out the worst in people because of jealousy, insecurity, greed, maliciousness and avarice. Farewell to a year that destroyed our pride and self esteem and undid centuries of tradition, work and hope for the future.

So lets hope that 2009 will allow us in the long road ahead to recovery. May the new year bring you all lots of happiness, health and success to you and your families. And I hope that we will continue to grow and share in all the wonderful experiences waiting for us in the future! May those who erred in the past learn the correct way in life and instead of hurting or attacking, may they recognize their missteps, ask for a new start and move ahead in life. Happy new year's to all!

Thoughts While Walking in the City: Eating Out

About halfway walking through the city, my friend thought about going in some diner and eating lunch. I am a lifelong resident of NYC and there are two three reasons why I am disinclined to eat out.

Reason #1: Cost-- Lets face it. NYC is expensive. A slice of pizza is now $2.50 (although I cant understand why since the price of commodities i.e. oil and flour has dropped ALOT!!). I usually make it a habit of bringing my lunch with my in my nap sack. A sandwich, a powerade and some Fiberone to munch on. Health and nutritious. And it comes out to about $2.00. If I purchased it in the street, it would be about $8-9 for the meal. So that's a nice sizable savings if you ask me...

Reason #2: Freshness of Food-- Recently I read an article that some restaurants, in order to cut on the cost of food supplies are "recycling" the prior day's entrees, sauces, salads... Not good. I don't know what the City's Health Department is doing about this but it certainly made me less inclined to eat out. I am very nervous when it comes to food poisoning and I think that if you are paying for a fresh meal, that is what you should get. Right ow, it seems that is only guaranteed at home.

Reason #3: Sanitary Consideration-- About a year ago, a camera man caught on video a Taco Bell Restaurant that was closed for the night... OVERRUN BY RATS! It made national news and it was a publicity disaster for the food chain. I have a phobia of rats and mice as is... I am no longer a Taco Bell fan. On another occasion, I was in a restaurant in Brooklyn about three years ago picking up some takeout and as I waited, I say a rodent run across the back counter. I got up and walked out. Roaches and vermin in eateries is a major no-no for me and every year when the City's Chief Health Inspector publishes the violations found in the restaurants I pray that i have not dined in any of them (unfortunately for me, I have and I have since stopped patronizing the business).

I am constantly aware of these reasons and I tried my hardest no to encourage him to eat in any of the diners we passed. Finally, I suggested that we go into a Subway's ans split a foot long whole wheat Italian sub. Thank god he went for it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I will dine out with friends. As a matter of fact I do it monthly with former colleagues from Chase. But we go through great pains research the place, the reviews etc. And more often than not, we love the place. Most recently, we at at Raphaela's on Ninth. Their pepperoni pizza as an appetizer was mouth watering. Also shared a plate of Penne ala Vodka... The sauce was so fresh and creamy, I vowed next time to make it my entree. I had meat lasagna which had lots of meat and sauce and my friend had the roasted chicken. All delicious. Of course throughout the night we drank Merlot wine (their choice of bottles leaves rooms for improvement. A few of the listed bottles were not in stock, including the Malbec--a bit of an annoyance on an otherwise very nice time had.) But what draws to Raphaela's is their dessert menu and one particular item that I had when they were on Seventh Avenue in the Village and still is a hit with my friends--Cognac Pumpkin Cheesecake. It is creamy, melts in your mouth and makes it worth the trip.

Raphaela's on Ninth came about after the original Raphaela's located on 7Th Avenue closed last year. The restaurant is on 9Th and 21st Street and I highly recommend it for a quiet dinner. If you go, I recommend the Penne ala vodka and the cognac pumpkin cheesecake. Please share your experiences.

Thoughts While Walking in the City: People Shopping or Not

While I went around walking throughout the city, I noticed that stores all over had markdowns. People did a lot of browsing and window shopping but no one was really spending a lot of money. The lines in the cash register was simply not long. Stores however use every ruse and trick in the book to lure you into the store. The Gap on 23rd and 8Th had this markdown: 50% off and take an additional 25%. People are rushing in thinking that they are getting 75% off the merchandise... NOOOOO! that's not the way it works folks.

Here is some basic financial Literacy for you. If you are buy a shirt that retails for $100, you would think the final price would be $25, right? Well, we wish. In reality, if it cost $100, 50% off would mean its initial sale price is $50. An added 25% off of the $50 translates to an additional discount of $12.50. So the shirt actually costs you $37.50, as opposed to $25. That's quite a price difference. Now if you look at it from the perspective of $100 to $37.50 and you are OK with that, then great. I look at it as the retailer being slick and getting an added $12.50 out of my pocket by going about in the the manner they placed the discount...sneaky!

Rebates is another scam... You purchase the item for $100.00. There is a rebate for $25. You have send in the original receipt and a completed form to the manufacturer. there is no guarantee that they will receive the form, process it and send you the check. If they do, it takes from 6-12 weeks to get the check. (My most recent experience was with Brita--a rebate for $4 took 10 weeks!) Many of us are too lazy to go through the trouble of filling out the form and sending it in. Others don't even bother to get the form even though the main reason we purchased the item was because we wanted to make the most of the sale (which in small printed indicated a rebate required).

Finally, at least during the holiday sales, at least its clearance and you buy what you can if its available. But what happens when the item advertised is out of stock and the store either has to give you a rain check (which then begs the question, how many of us actually use it) or offers and item of "equal value" (generally is not!). I call it bait and switch and I am notorious for complaining to the Better Business Bureau about this type of shenanigans.

My point is this: these are tough times. If you absolutely need the item or know you will use it, then more power to you. Make the purchase and put your money to work for you. If you don't need it know, but you know you will use it eventually (i.e. wrapping paper discounted 80%--love it! Christmas cards discounted 75%--love it! Scotch see through tape for gifts discounted 50%--skip it!) My principles applies to foods/perishables, clothing and supplies. Be smart about your money and you will see that it will last longer.

Thoughts While Walking in the City: Dealing with Parasites

Yesterday was a day that was perfect for a long walk in the city. A friend come over to visit for the weekend and I suggested that we go for a stroll. Sometimes when you walk a long distance as we did yesterday, we have very animated discussions about politics, religion, friends, a movie or actor... you name it. (See map on left) Some topics are inextricably linked liked the cold weather, homelessness and how in NYC, we now have record homelessness--40% higher than last year and most are families with children who lost their homes because of the mortgage crisis. These types of conversations eventually produce the requisite lull and inspire moments of comfortable silence between two people that allows you to think about things in retrospective. Yesterday we had numerous moments of silence and I gave a lot of thought some many topics. Some of the topics I gave some thought to can be considered pretty abrasive or controversial. But the topics are a reality and we should be able to face it, acknowledge that it is something ugly that exists and in doing so, come up with a way of managing these situations. When all else fails you must cut your losses.

Along the route one of the things that I thought about is that it is human nature to be selfish. We are all guilty of it at some level or another. Even when we give of ourselves, we expect something in return... whether it is acknowledgement, respect, loyalty... No one does anything altruistically and that's understood. I was once accused of helping around the house of a friend (as a handyman) because I wanted to make myself needed and indispensible. My feelings were hurt but I looked back and they were right. Still, that does not take away from the fact that I saved them a mint in repair costs and time. So now I am less of the volunteering kind unless I truly want to do the favorHowever, I am bothered by those who take and take and take... And yet they are so self absorbed and all about themselves that while given the opportunity they will not take a moment to reflect on all that they have received and give a little back. I have crossed paths with a few of these in my life time and I think its time to take stock. I refer to these as Alpha Parasites and they abound all over. They are in our families, our friends and colleagues. They constantly need a ride somewhere. They need help moving furniture or removing refuse. They want help with managing their finances or going through some complicated paperwork. But never once do they insist on you pulling into a gas station and pupmping $20 of gasoline into your tank. Nor do they offer to buy a cup of coffee or perhaps even some gum. I came up with a few of these types yesterday while walking and decided that they had to be cut. (More on the cutting process later)

Then you have friends of friends. These are very tricky. Sometimes you hit it off with them and things can be ok. But other times inevitably they will feel that you are in direct competition with them for the time and friendship of the friend in common. They adopt Rasputin-like qualities and in the end, will undermine your relationship with the person you first became acquainted with. They have no life. Everything they do revolves around the common friend's activities. They have no other significant friends and chose to be involved in unhealthy, self-destructive intimate relationships. These relationships can be with domineering, abusive individuals or with someone who is already in another relationship. They will do everything in their power to destroy that relationship so that the individual will end up with them but more likely it does not work. So they turn their focus on to the friend in common and begin to undermine you relationship with that person until the individual is convinced that Rasputin is right. Those who know them will either accept their machiavellian manners or shut them out as well. I refer to these as Rasputin Parasites.

Finally, there are those that only come to you once or twice a year when they need something. It can be that bottle of Puerto Rican "egg nog" or as we call it coquito. It can be because they are moving and need an extra set of hands. It may be because they need to be picked up in the airport at midnight and you are the only one who can make the trip. Yes... there are people you do not hear from months at a time and then suddenly call you. After 30 minutes of catching up, they will manage to segue the conversation towards and upcoming trip and spring the trap on you to see if you fall. I did once... never again. These are what I refer to as Leech Parasites. They latch on to you opportunistically and once they suck off all the blood they can from you they will let go and never see them again until they need from you.

There are many more types of parasitic behavior in our society. Luckily its not always that bad. We also are lucky to have good friends and families who enrich our lives with their presence and for that we are grateful. But for those who only live off the lives of others, they get cut off. Having come across a few of these in my life and especially in the last year, I actually started this process unknowingly four weeks ago and it is great. Its a very simple process. Today you can accomplish it very effectively.

Step 1: Delete the person from all your chat programs. If you have the ability to block them, do it. Never hear from them again.

Step 2: Delete the person from your internet address book. Again if you have the ability to block them, do it. Or place them in the SPAM list.

Step 3: Delete them or deny them access to your personal web pages and blogs. Many of them are so selfish that they will think there must be some kind of computer kink.

Step 4: Delete the person from your cellphone address file or type D.N.A. (Do Not Answer) on their name/number.

Step 5: Save all compromising pics you have found on these individuals over time. A little leverage will go along way in ensuring they DO NOT approach you again.

Its simple to do and we can attain much peace of mind when we do things that will rid our lives of intrusive and disruptive individuals.

Christmas in NY-2008

Alot of people come to NY and there are some typical sites that everyone wants to see. The usual places to visit are Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall and the store displays. (Rockefeller Center Tree on right). We, of course, would not be New Yorkers if they were not part of the holiday celebrations. But there are some that are not that well known or that are a bit out of the way. My friend Victor came up to the city and we actually walked in 22F weather checking out some of the sites that make NYC be what it is. So I thought I would share with you what NY was like 5 days before Christmas.

Our first stop was the The Bloomberg Building on Lexington Avenue. We all have heard and seen the tree in Rockefeller Center. It is the traditional staple of the winter holidays here in NYC. They have set up a tree that is breathtaking. This is the first time that I have seen this tree up.

There is one just as impressive on Wall Street which I promise to get a picture of and I am sure that there may be one or two more around the city which merit mentioning. Vic and I were lucky that while taking the pic, twin sisters came up to us and offered to take our pic. It was nice and the holiday spirit was palpable in the city. So we

walked west and we saw that the Bloomingdale's building was lit up as well. Bloomingdales is as much iconic as is Saks Fifth Avenue, Lord & Taylor, Bergdoff & Goodman and the greatest of them all, Macy's. While I did not stop to take pictures of their window display, it was impressive to see how their visual coordinators lit the facade of the building. So I figured it was worth a picture and I hope you would think so too. I can't even begin to imagine the number of hours it took to drape the lights along the facade of the building and the best part of it all is that it is perfectly symmetrical. I was impressed. When we were done, we decided to walk west.

One of the lesser known classics is that Park Avenue is lit up with trees and lights all along the wide avenue. People oooh and ahhh when the see it but it is not one of the better known sites. I think it is a shame because it is so beautiful and sets the tone through out the city. I could not resist and again took a picture of it for you to appreciate. One the things that impresses me is that this decoration runs all along Park Avenue as long as there are malls in the middle of the route. My sense is that ends when the Metro North comes out of the tunnel on 96 street. Its just nice to walk along it. Our next stop was the former New York Plaza Hotel. This building was considered the grand dame of our hotels until it went condos four years ago. They decorated the fountain and it was fun to get our pics taken there. It was a fun site to get our pics taken and there were many out of towners who thought alike. What made it more fun was the fact that there were Santas all over the place and people wanted their pis taken with them. I chose to pass on sitting on Santa's lap. Not my thing, thank you very much LOL. But the kids loved it. We crossed the street and as we passed Bergdoff & Goodman's was really surprised with the window displays. I want to post them here so you can see how wonderfully detailed they are, full of fantasy and wonderful images.



One the things that struck me most about these displays are the varying themes of each window which in some manner or another is tied to the winter with its focus on white and light, ice blue hues. Magnificent work!



When I looked at these displays, I just wondered what would inspire someone to design such magical presentations. Tourists stood and took in all the details of each display. The beauty of it is that because Winter holidays was the theme, while all were white, the details and themes were amazing.


We walked down Fifth Avenue and some of the classics in NYC include the crystal snow flake that is above Fifth Ave and 57th Street. It is as symbolic of the holidays of NYC as is the Tree in Rock Center. This year it was Crystal and lights which made the ornament shine from high above. (See picture below)

It was wickedly cold (22F), windy and with snow flurries. Still we made our way down Fifth Ave and caught the Cartier and Versace Buildings, Trump Tower and St. Patrick's Cathedral. The Cartier Building traditionally had a huge ribbon on it and this year its all lights. The Versace building has new flood lights and the Trump Tower gave up the boring lights of always and looked liked it was wrapped in colorful holiday paper. Of course, St. Patrick's reigned like a castle in the Avenue. It was great.



Rockefeller Center was next. It was packed! The Snowflake Light display on the facade of Saks Fifth Avenue will blink along to Christmas classics. The angels were laid out in the Rockefeller Promenade. Satin flags waved in the winds and huge wooden soldiers graced the perimeters of the rink.






Finally, as we made our way to the end of our adventure, we headed to the Avenue of the Americas (AKA Sixth Avenue) to capture more classics--Radio City Music Hall, The Giant Christmas Ornaments in front of the Time Life Building and the Lit Tree Plaza in front of McMillian Publishing...






Wonderful sites that I hope you all can visit!

Emery Awards Dinner

Its that time of the year again when one of my favorite fall events takes place. This past Tuesday I went to the Hetrick Martin Institute, Inc.'s Emery Awards Dinner held at Cipriani's on 42nd Street. This is the very same HMI whose Fall Fest was profiled here almost two months ago. HMI is the city's and arguably the nation's premier youth-GLBT oriented agency dedicated to educating and protecting youth at risk in the GLBT community. I would encourage you all to go into their website and read about their work and maybe even make a contribution. There is even a live auction right on the site that will help raise funds for the organization's amazing programs.

http://www.hmi.org/



I had as my personal invitees Roger Rodriguez, William Adriance and the beautiful and lovely Quinta (Quin) Chia. I knew that the chemistry of this group would be fun because Roger is just the life of the party and William brings a fresh perspective to these events. While I had just met Quin, she immediately struck me as the kind of person whomakes these types of events way memorable with her quips and smile. I want to start off by thanking them for accepting my invite and making the night a success.





We me in my office. For those of you unfamiliar with where i work, I am on a 45th floor--Penthouse floor. The view of the city is striking and from the other side you have a birds eye view of Rockefeller Center. It night, the view is even more breath taking. Roger and I rode into the city together and William joined us, with Quin arriving soon after. Both got dressed and with in minutes we were ready to walk the red Carpet. It was a warm and clear night so we strolled to the venue. William had gone by early in the afternoon and peeked inside so he advised us that it was really laid out.




When we entered, waiters greeted us with flute crystal glasses filled with bellinis. It was going to be a great evening. I met friends I had not seen in months and as we entered the grand ballroom, you could feel the energy in the air. The tables were beautifully set with unique centerpieces that had balls of flowers floating in water in a square crystal vase. Roasted shrimp on a bed of asparagus was the appetizer. I asked for Malbec as did Quin. William and Roger opted for the Chardonnay.



My dear friend, Thomas Krever--the executive director of HMI, Inc.--opened with remarks. He really got the attendees going and the evening started with Tim Gunn being the MC. Singer EVE read a speech and call upon everyone to support the work that HMI performs. It was followed by a performance by Cheyenne and then the acceptance speech by Mary Louise Parker. I managed to get my picture taken with Cheyenne, Eve and BD Wong who also was in attendance in support of the agency. I hope that next year I can grow the support I give to the agency.



The main course of the evening was roast beef with polenta. The dessert was a choice between chocolate mousse cake or cheese cake... which would have you chosen. I loved the fact that Quin was so funny and that she kept me company most of the night especially since the kids were off and about being kids. Roger wore so much bling that I thought we would be blinded... over $125K worth of jewelry. The best part of the evening was the after party, dancing with Bianca del Rio, Mme Chia and then Roger. I have great friends and it was really fun spending time with them and making new friends (Quin). I cant wait for the next event and I will definitely have Quin there--she made the night!